


oh ophelia, you've been on my mind girl like a drug

by neostigmine



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (for most of it), F/F, POV Second Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Wet Dream, i copped out like a baby lol, it's kind of more a lime honestly?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 20:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15469932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neostigmine/pseuds/neostigmine
Summary: "fräulein, i didn’t get here just from bashing skulls in when they decided to be annoying,” you down the rest of your drink, “and you have been obvious since we first met, with saying... what was it?”“i don’t know what you’re-““that you’re kind of into it?” fuck.(or: some people??? fantasize about hot tief ladies they just met??? to cope???????)





	oh ophelia, you've been on my mind girl like a drug

she doesn’t know why she’s surprised, honestly; ophelia  _wasˆ_ everything she wanted. probably why she’s still on her mind and taking up every thought that isn’t occupied by finding the quickest way to resurrect her least favorite purple tiefling and getting everybody else back.

which, actually, now that beau thinks about it, is a lot of thoughts, especially when she’s trying to sleep after taking first watch.

this was going to be a long night.

it wasn’t that she’s trying to let her thoughts wander from  _get them home_ and  _find a priest_ , really. they just  _do_  and they always find their way back to ophelia mardun and her stupid,  _stupid_ -

no, her accent wasn’t stupid. her mannerisms weren’t stupid. nothing about her was stupid.

of course nothing was, she wouldn’t be  _ophelia mardun_ if everything was just...  _stupid_  and  _nothing_ and gods did she want to hear what  _ophelia_  actually had to say.

none of the airs of superiority, none of the masks, just her and ophelia and...

something.

she figures her mind will fill out the details when she finally falls asleep. it would be a welcome distraction, at least.

 

* * *

  _you’re sitting across from her in what you’re pretty sure is the drawing room portion of a state bedroom; not that you really cared to learn about the finer points of entertaining guests, but you’re hazarding a guess._

_you’re paying attention to your surroundings more in some effort to not look at her lest you Panic again. you think she enjoys that, seeing you suppress your squirming when she casts her gaze on you. she didn’t seem opposed to whatever nonsense you were saying before in the foyer._

_you weren’t opposed to it either, which is why you’re here right now, trying to badly charm your way into ophelia mardun’s bed. the room is... sparse, but not the sparse that would suggest she didn’t have enough money to fill the space-- she does, you know that much, but you think she likes to spend her money on other things._

_like, for instance, velvet upholstered furniture. you weren’t a stranger to velvet furniture; your parents had velvet sofas and chairs in the main living room, ones you weren’t really allowed to sit on half the time._

_you quite liked the feel of velvet. it was soft yet still had a rough quality to it depending on which way you ran your hand over it._

_kind of like what you think ophelia would like to do to you, in a weird way after you did some mental gymnastics to get there. you wouldn’t be opposed to it._

_she moves around from her side of the desk to lean against the side that’s closest to you. she also likes to spend her money on tailors, and good ones at that. everything hangs and drapes and conforms to her body in such a way that you’d honestly feel_ bad _about taking it off of her, like it would be doing her a disservice._

_keeping them on would also be a disservice._

_“could that be arranged, fräulein?” her voice brings you back from staring off into nothing in particular on the wall.  
_

_“oh! yeah! totally!” that was Wrong, that was totally wrong, but you know vaguely what word she used and technically yeah it could be used but it wasn’t the nice polite form and gods fuck okay.  
_

_this is fine just. just stay cool. “you didn’t hear a word i said, did you?”_

_“uh, uhm,” you pause. why was this so hard? you’ve talked to women not even half as beautiful as she is and-_

_she tilts her head slightly. she has that look on her face, the one from when she was eyeing up the whole group, but this time it feels less like she’s judging you on your killing ability and more judging you as a potential..._

_something or other. you can’t quite place what it is yet._

_“because if you did, beauregard,” fuckfuckfuck you love how your name hangs in her throat, “you would not have answered like that.”_

_you nod and try to swallow the growing knot in your throat. she’s reading you like you’re an open book and you hated it, normally. you shift just a little, just a tiny bit you’re sure she wouldn’t notice and start focusing more on the feel and texture of the velvet chair you are currently sitting on._

_it’s a nice chair; she takes good care of the upholstery and the velvet itself has a slight differentiation that is letting you believe it’s much more expensive than you originally thought stepping into this room._

_which, speaking of, you’re pretty sure the already dim light has gotten even dimmer than it was originally. you haven’t even been in here that long— thirty minutes to an hour at the most._

_she has to be playing you now. you know you’re too far gone at this point and gods-_

_“i think you’re getting distracted.” yes, you are distracted, very distracted, really. if you were being honest you’ve forgotten why you’re here in the first place and not caleb, but his loss._

_“what do you suppose we do about it, perle?” cool, there you go straight up dying again. she leans in just enough to cup your chin and tilt your head up. she drops it just as quick and pushes herself off the desk. you hear something click, like a door is locking (or unlocking)._

_“beauregard?” you turn around. your movements are stiff on account of trying to ignore everything that your body is screaming at you, “a change of scenery might help things, yes?”_

_with that tone of voice, yes it would. you nod again and she looks at you. oh. oh._

_the gears are turning. you get up from the chair and let autopilot take over for the most part. she’s pouring two glasses of some alcohol whenever you cross the threshold from the drawing room into what has to be her bedroom. it’s just as sparse as the room before it, sparse but well decorated with one hell of a bed right in the middle of it. she had it put there on purpose, you suspect. nobody puts a fuck off huge four post bed with such elaborate velvet curtains and some gold thing smack dab in the middle of the headboard right in the view of double doors because it looks nice._

_you take a glass when she offers it to you and take a sip against your slightly better judgment. it doesn’t burn until it hits your stomach, which is a welcome change from whatever the hell bullshit not has in her flask. it also doesn’t taste like shit at ambient temperature and it’s taking your entire self control to not down the entire glass._

_“like it?” she asks. you nod (again. gods you need to stop) and let your eyes drift over to her. she’s standing slightly to the right of the side table, swirling her glass around in her hand._

_“words, beauregard,” she tilts her head again, “caleb has more wit than you do, i swear-“ she stops herself suddenly._

_“what?” you ask, taking another sip of your drink._

_“do you think i haven’t noticed anything?” she asks. it’s your turn to tilt your head._

_“what do you mean?” she puts her glass down and saunters towards you._

_“you’ve been fidgeting and this is the first time since we got up here that you’ve,” she trails off like she’s trying to find words, “looked me in the eye?”_

_“what-“_

_“fräulein, i didn’t get here just from bashing skulls in when they decided to be annoying,” you down the rest of your drink, “and you have been obvious since we first met, with saying... what was it?”_

_“i don’t know what you’re-“_

_“that you’re kind of into it?”_ fuck _. she’s dangerously close to you and you feel the tip of her tail lightly run up and down your ankle. she takes your glass from you and sets it down dangerously close to the edge of the side table. you’re trying to control your breathing but the smirk starting to form on her face is telling you you aren’t doing a good job at it._

_she closes the gap and after the initial moment of ohfuckthisishappening you immediately melt into her touch._

_yeah, you are kinda into it. you’re more than kinda into it from the breathy moan she gets out of you when she wraps her tail around your knees and pulls you even more into her grasp._

_you start fiddling with the closures on her coat before she spins you around and pushes you onto the foot of the bed. you let out a whine._

_“now now,” she says, slowly unfastening her coat, “good things come to those who wait.” she lays it over the back of a chair. she has her back toward you, still fiddling with_ something  _and you let out another whine._

_in the split second you aren’t watching her, she’s on you again, straddling your lap, waiting for you to initiate- oh no she’s not._

_she wasn’t._

_she was waiting to catch you off guard to start kissing down your neck and your clavicle and ooooh she’s biting at the crook of your neck a little. it felt tentative, like she was making sure you were going to be okay with it before she started leaving marks._

_you lean forward when she lets up and start kissing her again. it’s sloppy and hungry and you know you can do better, but you’ve wanted this since you saw her descend the stairs. you never stopped wanting it and now that you have it you wanted to keep it for as long as possible._

_or as long as she felt you deserved it._

_she tugs on your lip when she pulls back. you start kissing her jawline and down her neck. she takes this moment to run her hands under your shirt and lightly, so frustratingly lightly, cups and grabs and rakes her nails across your breasts and then down your stomach to linger around your waist._

_you moan into her neck and she giggles a little. she says something in zemnian that you can’t really make out beyond a “sehr laut...”_

_you weren’t really paying attention to what she was saying; you were more occupied with figuring out what would make her crumble and melt and-_

_she’s back on your neck again, leaving bite marks trailing down it onto your clavicle and chest and there go her hands again, dealing with the obstruction that was your shirt. you aren’t sure when your vest came off or where it even went, but that was neither here nor there. you break only so she can get your shirt off of you and then she’s back on you, leaving marks and not fully giving you what you wanted._

_she could at least have the decency to not be so frustratingly gentle when you both knew that’s what neither of you wanted._

_you tug a little on the hair that’s at the back of her head and you swear she makes some kind of noise. you think you have her now before she decides that that’s her cue to stop being gentle._

_you were going to have so many hickeys to figure out how to hide._

_she stops for a second and looks at you._

_“that’s unfair,” you say.  
_

_“all’s fair in love-”  
_

_“and war i know-” you start undoing the tiny buttons on her blouse before she wraps her tail around your wrists and brings your hands down into your lap._

_“what did i say?” she takes over from your pathetic attempt. she keeps your wrists in her tail’s grasp and lets her blouse fall open. you struggle against the hold._

_“beauregard? was habe ich gesagt?” she was being such a damn tease and yet you were so entranced._

_“does that matter at this point?” you ask, still struggling. she loosens the hold, enough for you to snake one hand out and tangle it in her hair again._

_she’s starting to get breathy, starting to crumble and-_

_you notice she’s leaning you back as she’s kissing down your chest and leaving more bite marks and her hands linger around your waist band. you untangle your hand and push yourself up the bed so she can position herself better._

_“darf ich?” she asks, and you have honestly no idea what she asked, but the tone and context leads you to think that she’s asking for permission to do_ whatever _the hell she wants with you._

_“do your worst,” it’s mixed in with a moan from her tail tracing the outline and contours of your breasts. she’s so excruciatingly slow with the laces on your pants and you really should do it for her but-  
_

 

* * *

when beau wakes up, she’s distinctly aware of the fact she is not under one very hot tiefling that’s about to have her way with her.

there are birds chirping and the sun shining and  _fuck._ what wouldn’t she give for just five more minutes of sleep. she sits up and glances around the camp. it’s bright and cold and there’s a fresh layer of snow all over everything and.

oh.

caleb was on third watch.

for all intents and purposes and the principle of the thing, she was probably  _kind of_  whining.

he glances over at her and nods knowingly. yeah, caleb was the best person to be on third watch in this particular moment.

she rolls over and tries to ignore everything.

**Author's Note:**

> baby's first lime/lemon/Citrus Fic, be gentle.
> 
> i can be found on tumblr @ jacobiapologist, gratitous german because i took two (2) whole years of it freshman/sophmore years of college. my instructors would be so proud!


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